pope donny, was fat, now skinny, always crazy. Lets go around the porn horn.

Not much happening, but lets make the rounds.

pope donny posted his crazy person diet on jbm.

We love pope donny here at BROMasters, he is always good for a weird thread to fill in some drama downtime.

Lets have a look at how pope donny lost his weight, and mind. Cause God knows, this is interesting.

-
When Belinda moved out and I knew it was over, I was devastated.
When Belinda moved out, I cut her face out of our vacation pictures. This took hours. And now I am totally crazy.

My best friend told me that I needed to turn those emotions into something positive.
My best friend was sick of me as well. But since dudes can't break up with other dudes, he convinced me to take up a hobby so that I can't bother him so much.

I'd been wanting to lose weight for years. He said I could channel all that energy into determination to lose weight.
Belinda leaving me came at the perfect time. I had always wanted to go on a crazy person diet.

With his words ringing in my ears, and I decided to do just that. So...
His should be capitalized when referring to God. Like this. With His words ringing in my ears


I gave up soda. I drink water and orange juice exclusively. I'm not saying I won't have a soda once every few weeks, but water and oj is about it. Well, except for the evening glasses of wine (which I gave up this past Monday - not for any religious reasons, just because I was drinking WAY too much of it).
I find drinking cat blood works also.

I eat a lot less. There was no reason to keep gorging on food like I've done for years.
It would be great if you would just stop eating all together.


I've been stuck at this weight for a few weeks now, so it was time to bring in the big guns and shoot the neighbors cat for a sacrifice.

Yesterday I received a new program from my cousin's fiancé, who is a personal trainer down around San Diego. It's time to start really kicking my ass
Trust me, you can find plenty of help for that goal.

and getting some muscle to go with the weight loss. If I follow the program he gave me yesterday I'll start looking really good in the next few months. I've been very determined about this, so I have no doubts I'll follow it.
I can't wait to cross the mojave for bread and bury the cat's body.


Over on GFY, Kandah is still on the run from AaronM. But now Ice has joined in. I think an internet fight is coming soon. Kandah is being accused of stealing. And now the ol' INSIDE NOW thread has been started. Anytime directions are given on how to use a thread title, you know its gangsta muthafucka.

Highlights

You're on thin ice here, son. I'd be very careful if I were you.
-AaronM

Yeah its true I know, pretty stupid of me. However AaronM does the same and I have never done business with him ever.
-Kandah

AaronM has let everyone know that the internet ice is thin and Kandah pretty much just told Ice I will stop when you make him stop.

Keyboards will break over this one.

In other BROMaster news

The Cybernet BROVention is almost sold out. Only 15 rooms left. I figure by next week, BROMaster magic will happen and another 10 rooms will be open.

Keep it real BROMasters

Drama Watch. Baddog vs. Dirty franck

Right here

Baddog had some time to kill, drama brewin.'

Baddog is doing one of those self interview numbers. You know, ask me anything. Of course FranckenDrama was right on it.


FranckenDrama doesn't like the USA. Baddog likes guns. Something about this chemistry has potential.

Drama Watch issued for GFY

Drama Watch has been issued for GFY.

Here on GFY

So this Kandah guy came on and tried to make good with everyone. Basically he is fucked because he is going to launch a new content store and he probably did the old enemy count and ran out of fingers and toes so he figured now was the time to give the ol' apology. And of course he calls it a PUBLIC ANNOUCEMENT!

Public Announcements are sort of like press releases, lots of people do 'em, they hardly ever mean shit.

This public announcement is just short of Sticky's persona suicide. (which by the way is by far the best ever public annoucement of all time!)

So far only GFYsuperDramaHeroeAaronM is being gangsta gangsta in the thread. Lets see where she goes. I think we are going to need a little more dirt if this one is going to make for entertainment.

This is only a watch until further notice.

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Classes are filling up. Get in before it is too late! And to make it EXTRA AWESOME, this MEMORIAL DAY WEEKEND we are slashing prices!

Have a Happy Memorial Day BROMasters!

BIG BROMaster Product announcement coming TODAY. INDUSTRY CHANGING!

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STAY TUNED!

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BROMasters Feed

Subscribe to me. All your support is appreciated.

A question about how to be invisible on ICQ turns into a wreck on JBM

Wow. Oh wow.

Check it if ya like

Belinda wants to know how to make someone invisible on her icq. By the end of this thread, I would gander to say that she should be searching for the delete person function!

I am too tired for pope donny tonight. I need sleep. I am going to let this baby simmer overnight, JBM is usually quiet during the moonlight.

Good night BROMasters.

Tonight's Drama is brought to you by

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JBM drama watch. Slavdogg vs. Alien and his team of voices.

DRAMA WATCH ISSUED FOR JBM. THIS IS ONLY A WATCH.

This thread

AlienQ just told Slavdogg that he doesn't understand adult revenue in Google.

Already a gem came out of this one

Alien, please commit suicide right now
-Slavdogg

Jace, you cannot be in my 5 -XXXJay

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Introducing Tony404 posting software. Your brand. Your solution.

Ever thought, “wow, some people always get their sig in threads, why can’t my company be like that?”

Well, now you can!

Introducing Tony404 software. The software works like this.

First, you set up the options you want.

Option 1
Board you want your brand on- GFY

This one is where you set the board you want your Tony404 account to work on. You can change that to JBM if you like, or any board you choose. Unfortunately, our Tony404 package doesn’t support multiple boards.


Option 2
Amount of daily post you will accept- 1000

This is how many post you will accept on a daily basis. Now, this doesn’t mean you get that many post, I will explain in the next option.


Option 3
Usefulness of post, check one please-
__NOT USEFUL
__JUST STUPID
_x_PATHETIC BORDERING ON DELUSIONAL

Ok, this is the tricky part to the software. You choose one option and then that option runs against your accepted daily post amount. It works like this, the more useless your Tony404 software is set at, the closer you will get to your daily accepted post amount. Most companies just set it at PATHETIC BORDERING ON DELUSIONAL and let it run wild.


Ok, once the options are set, you just go to your control panel and click GO post Tony404 and you will start seeing ridiculous post all over the place. The software is actually super smart, it picks out threads that involve someone’s well thought out ideas and it totally misses the topics point. Depending on your usefulness settings, it can miss the point of a thread up to 8 times per thread.

SIMPLEY AWESOME!

So what are you waiting on? Get your brand out there now! GET NOTICED!

BVF is this weeks MVB poster.

I know it is bit early to award this week's Most Valuable Bro poster, from now on I will stick to Fridays, but this is a holiday weekend, so we gotta cut things short.


BVF was selected for his performance in A Note to Tassy.


One thing I have come to learn is that a lot of posters seem lost in their ways. Many don't seem to know how to post in high profile drama threads. Happens more than it should, but fear not my fellow BROMasters, that is why I am here. To help.


But helping fellow BRO's can only be done when showing you what an MVB Poster looks like.


Drama can get hot, but here is a perfect text-book example of posting when the heat is on.

from-A Note to Tassy
Starter- Immortal Pussycat
Conditions- HOT, an industry pregnancy had just been discovered and a pornstar couldn't find a compliment laying around near her pill bottles so she was whoring for attention. NOT EASY CONDITIONS ALL.

-post is a reply to JaneyB
this thread isn't about you...shut the fuck up...goddamn...

I can understand you posting in this thread, but now you're answering people when they're not even talking to you...

I've just gotten to the top of the fourth page and I'll bet as soon as I hit submit and read this page, there will be a JaneB post every second or third one down...
-BVF

See how smooth and to the point that delivery was? Lets really break down this MVB post.

-
this thread isn't about you...shut the fuck up...goddamn...

We would appreciate a more sincere effort by you to stop posting JaneyB

I can understand you posting in this thread, but now you're answering people when they're not even talking to you...

The keyboard that is your delusion is not speaking, so stop responding.


I've just gotten to the top of the fourth page and I'll bet as soon as I hit submit and read this page, there will be a JaneB post every second or third one down...


This right here is what an MVB poster does when he closes. Mind control. In this case, BVF makes the offender think the keyboard is challenging them, in which case the offender will actually post something even dumber.


Cheers to posters like BVF, the world needs more of ya' :)

Fellow BROMasters, if you ever think the drama is too hot, don't overthink it. Just step away and tune into BROMasters, our arms are open.

Angeleyes looking for love on JBM

Posted by Angeleyes
From JBM
It's just someone I met, I asked his age and I could have swore he said 31, turns out he's 21~! lol He acted like a 31 year old, has his own place, etc. I just turned 35. And.... I'm definately not looking for a Husband, or F-buddy. Just someone to date, hangout with, be friends with and get to know better, but marriage is soooooooooo far from my mind, it's a huge move and nothing I would even consider with ANYONE any time this decade... and not a "serious" relationship with him either. Kind of an inbetween because I'm not ready for a major commitment and I don't like clingy guys and he wouldn't be cuz he has his buddies to hang out with on his own.

He invited me to go to the Keys..... that kind of stuff, not moving in together. A big "hell no" to cohabitation either. Lol

So, if I understand this correctly, lets go over her JBM forever singles ad.

1- Girl looking for guy to date. (Good deal, being a girl always helps when you are looking for a heterosexual man with one or more balls)

2- I just turned 35. And.... I'm definately not looking for a Husband, I would even consider with ANYONE any time this decade (you told us you are 35, so this means you will be ready to get married at 38. Newsflash!!! You need to bag a man now, it is only going to get tougher!)

3- Not looking for someone to fuck. (Oh outstanding! I know as a guy, I find it intrusive when I pay for dinner and get to fuck the prize later)

4- Just looking to hangout, be friends. (You should reply to all the ads guys place in the "looking for 35+ year old female who just wants to be friends" category. Oh that's right, there isn't one!)


5- and not a "serious" relationship with him either (well, you pretty much nailed down a non-serious status with number 3. You will get dumped after date 1. If you are mid-30s, you gotta put out if you wanna stay in this game honey)


6- Kind of an inbetween because I'm not ready for a major commitment and (and you don't like to fuck, you don't want to get married, you only want to hang out. My god, that isn't in between anything, that is SOL for a your dating life!)

7- I don't like clingy guys (You pretty much took care of that issue. see number 5, number 4, number 3 and number 2)

8-A big "hell no" to cohabitation either. Lol (I wouldn't call starving students anytime soon girl)

Well, you gotta give a girl credit, looking for love on a porn message board takes guts.

BROddha say

One of his posters asked BROddha, "I think I got herpes from a prostitute in Vegas, what do I do?"
"Post it on GFY," answered BROddha.
"But GFY, that isn't a medical site? That board isn't as good as my doctor, right?"
"GFY all things under the sun," answered BROddha
"But BROddha, what if people use it against me in future drama threads?" The poster persisted.
"Just deny. We are what we post today, not what we post yesterday."

This moment of enlightenment was sponsored by BROddhaPosters.tv, put your product banner in the hands of BROddah's fleet of Indian sigwhores and former BROmasters. Be seen. Thousands of times daily.

BROstats has arrived! Introduces Shizzle technology

BROStats is pleased to send out a press release about our new industry changing Shizzle technology and announce that we are now a sponsor of BROMasters, so you can trust us!

somewhere in Asia where the weather is warm and tropical
start press release

BROstats.tv is the newest most efficient way to scrub joins and give stats to affiliates. Unlike our competition, we want to give you a cool look into how you process joins from start to finish. So come along for a ride that will change the way your affiliate program does business!

Ok, ever wondered, "who is buying our stuff?" Well, you are not alone, that is why BROstats innovated a new visual Shizzle display system! And yes, that is trademarked, so don't even think about it competition!

Here is how it works

First, we want to show you what your actual join that your affiliate sends looks like!



Yep, that is a picture of an actual join! How cool is that? Now, once you know who your join is, time to scrub that baby!

So in step two, shizzle display will show you the scrub.






That's right, watch that join get scrubbed in real time and find out if you should keep it or send it back where it came from. With shizzle technology, if you see some chinese fucker sitting there, you don't even have to scrub, you can just hit DO NOT ALLOW IN and the join goes back to China where it belongs. You are not only scrubbing with this new shizzle technology, but you have your own little border patrol as well. Pretty fucking cool huh?

K, now you have the join. But what now? Ok, you take the affiliates join, and you do this.

That's right, just keep it. Shizzle technology allows you to just keep that bad boy.

But Shizzle, what about the affiliate?

Well, Shizzle thought of that also. All you do is drag and drop the following file into the affiliatestats.stats file.

If you do 1 -3 joins per week, we suggest you just do this drag and drop yourself. If you do 4 -6 joins per week, for an extra $399, we will set up a cron job to drag and drop this file. Our cron job insures the HIT and JOIN display for no more than 2 seconds total.

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-Must have knowledge of the Internet but does not have to.
-Must suddenly have opinions about politics, abortion, religion, race, cooking, your favorite tv shows, if a crackwhore can make a single girl site, etc.
-Willing to figure out how to leave your icq on all day long but never actually be there.
-Possess an unmatched ability in being so low in the company that you can’t even order toilet paper without asking, much less tell an affiliate when their check should arrive
-Must be able to say “that’s not my job” 40 times in a row in less than 7 seconds!
-Must have a sound grasp on how to put your nose in someone else’s business on message boards.
-Must have industry experience. In fact, we prefer you have worked at least 17 industry related jobs, otherwise, please don’t apply.
-misspelling press releases a must.


You work from home and never have to worry with coming to the office because our operation isn’t even really legal so we prefer not having an office.

SOUND LIKE YOU?

Benefits include

Being like Guy Pearce from Memento. You pretty much just cruise all day on auto-jackass, you chat with people and then you forget what ever the fuck you just chatted about 2 seconds later. It is fucking awesome! No pressure at all! If an affiliate gets upset with you, you have no idea why and don’t really give a fuck!

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Can I buy a vowel? I will take an A.

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A Note to Tassy turns in to a hoe whistle for JaneyB

The formula is simple, call out one crazy girl, another crazy girl will come in to try to get the crazy focus back on her. Just how it goes. Works every time. See, when people are crazy, they tend to think the interweb is talking to them.

What Immortal puss cat wrote,
I tried to send you a heartfelt note in your thread girlfriend, but when I hit submit it was closed, go figure. I am truly sorry to hear about what you are going through and have been there myself. Sounds like your soon-to-be-ex is immature sprinkled with a little selfishness and selfcenteredness. You are a doll and this experience will make you stronger. For those that questioned your knowledge on the subject of your man I say this: some of us are very trusting individuals that only want to see the best in people, therefore we do not always question their intentions (we prefer to assume they are good, like ours). We like to believe that we will be treated the way we treat others and that is not always the case. You will be ok sweetie. If there is no way you guys can work this out, forgive him and forget him and don't let this jade you.

What JaneyB read
JANEB ARE YOU OK HOW IS JANEB DO YOU OWN A TGP JANEB YOU ARE NOT HOT BUT YOU ARE HOT JANEB IS IMPORTANT HOW ARE JANEB FEELING TODAY JANEB YOU SHOULD POST

So we covered the whole Tassy breakdown episode last week. But the good times must roll on, and JaneyB is a fuckin' spinning wheel on a downhill slope for an exclusive stay at the nuttyho resort and spa.

I respect it though, you gotta love them girls that can bring the drama. You all might remember that JaneyB first made our BROMaster radar back in march.

So a note for tassy was supposed to be a public gfy note to help tassy cause you know, if you wanna help someone, you gotta post your personal feelings on a public message board.

The note wasn't bad. Just girlie's cackling about feelings and things. Then JaneyB came in obviously worried the attention was going away from how nutty she is.

Well it looks like JaneyB got the attention she wanted.

She pretty much got pimp slapped a whole bunch of times. Her only argument was that she owns a tgp and then she tried to compare herself to actual successful models.

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showthread.php?t=734070

Rochard post a poem on GFY

I wouldn't normally post webmaster poetry, actually, I have to admit, I have never been faced with the decision.

I can't ever recall a webmaster writing a complete sentence, much less a poem. Anyways, this is weirdness and deemed worthy of attention.

Rochard, the recent Lightspeed officer turned Yankscash for a couple of weeks then Playboy where he dedicated a mustang to heffner and on to Cherrypimps, keeps us all on the edge of our buttocks with this strange addition to his legacy.

Last week, he wrote a poem to his former co-workers girlfriend who used to sleep with that now turned christian dude Donny and, well, I'm confused.

Point is the guy spilled his heart out with a poem. Look kids, if you are reading, take'th my advice and never post a poem on a porno message board. Its weird. Especially when the poem is actually lyrics from a 70s band that you changed.

Spannow's Girl By Rochard (And Rick Springfield) Spannow is a friend, yeah, I know he's been a good friend of mine
But lately something's changed that ain't hard to define
Spannow's got himself a girl and I want to make her mine
And she's watching him with those eyes
And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it
Yeah 'n' he's holding her in his arms late, late at night
You know, I wish that I had Spannow's girl, I wish that I had Spannow's girl
Where can I find a woman like that I play along with the charade, there doesn't seem to be a reason to change
You know, I feel so dirty when they start talking cute I wanna tell her that I love her, but the point is probably moot '
Cos she's watching him with those eyes And she's lovin' him with that body, I just know it And he's holding her in his arms late, late at night
Like Spannow's girl, I wish that I had Spannow's girl Where can I find a woman, where can I find a woman like that
And I'm lookin' in the mirror all the time, wondering what she don't see in me I've been funny, I've been cool with the lines
Ain't that the way love supposed to be Tell me, where can I find a woman like that
[Solo]
You know, I wish that I had Spannow's girl, I wish that I had Spannow's girl
I want Spannow's girl, where can I find a woman like that, like Spannow's girl,
I wish that I had Spannow's girl, I want, I want Spannow's girl

Tassy Pinkster ain’t the babies mama! Real springer style drama here!

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BROMaster tip of the day

Ever wonder how big brands become so big?

Don't waste a bunch of time advertising your company, contributing useful information, and offering great service.

Instead, make a total jackass of yourself.

It is a simple, cheap and effective way to brand your product.